Saturday, December 20, 2003

I am at a lose for words.  What I feel sometimes is overwhelming.  I have been the ear and shoulder for my mother for the past six years since my sister passed away.  I sit and listen...for it is all that I can do now.  I don't know how she feels loosing a child, but the ongoing pain that I hear in her voice  is enough to know that I  shouldn't have any complaints in my life on minuscule things.  I fight to dig myself out of the emotions each time she talks with me of this.  It will come out of the blue like yesterday and hit me like a brick wall. She now is following a class action lawsuit of  similiar origin of the doctor that misdiagnosed my sister and has begun the process of writing letters in the effort to bring justice...or is it peace within herself.  My mother now wants my response and feelings on it....

I shouldn't tell her that I feel she should let go....it is not my right....I want her to never forget, but learn to stay positive for the surviving members of our family...I want her to put her energy in another direction....these feeling that I have will go unheard, for how can I tell her to do nothing?

I will continue to listen ...continue to keep it to myself...and hope that one day peace will replace the hurt that persists within her.

"Never deprive someone of hope, it might be all they have."  H. Jackson Brown Jr.

 

1 comment:

wfhbear said...

When you sit and talk with your Mom again ask her what she thinks your Sister would do if the situation was different. How would your Sister honor the memory of you or your Mother if she was in your position now? We all deal with our sorrow and rage in different ways, even though we want the same result. We know the reality but, won't acknowledge it. Honor this Daughter and Sister by your honorable actions as you live out your life.